ANTS

You often see them in line. Some going to, some coming from. They greet one another as they pass by. I am not talking about human in queue for public transport though.

You often see them bringing food, 10 times their size. All of them. Still in line. But they’re not in line for taco bell.

They come in different color and sizes, they come from different places, but they don’t really attack one another. They don’t declare war. I’m not talking about people from different countries nor races.

They always share the same fate with the jews. Gassed, burned, eradicated. Sometimes they are ambushed in their own homes. It’s sad that we share the same world with them but still, we have to destroy their colonies.

We see them everywhere: walls, ceilings, comfort rooms, sometimes even on sockets. Their population if way more that the human population, so if they wanted to invade the earth, they possibly can. They are mentioned in the bible and we should learn to live like them. They are not a strong people but exceedingly wise.

Coming from a third world country, I know the struggles of human population. Hunger, unemployment, vices,poverty, overpopulation, war, and even the government to name some. We are a strong people but it’s odd that a strong people like us can’t make a strong start. We have been facing this issues forever, 14 administrations have passed and the 15th close to an end and still, facing the same old issues at least in the Philippines. It got me thinking, what is really wrong with us? What is wrong with the general population?

Do we blame the government? Do we blame God for the misfortunes? Or do we blame ourselves?

I am not an economist, psychologist, historian or whatever. I am just a normal citizen who loves to observe and write about random things. I am not even that great of a writer to tell you. I just put words together that I hope make sense.

Just this morning, I was eating my breakfast and I happened to receive an urgent call. 15 minutes have passed and when I came back, there were already ants on my food. I call them pests. I immediately lifted my plate and started pouring dishwashing liquid diluted with water on the table. I watched them die, one by one. They died in their lines. Some of them managed to escape though. What’s funny is that those who managed to escape were still lifting food on their backs, 20 times of their weight and triple their size. I cannot even lift something half my weight without complaining. What’s more remarkable is their promptness to act upon things. In just 15 minutes, they were able to ambush my food. They seize the opportunity whenever they see one. So during rainy days, they will be able to feast. And I had the urge to write about them. What if we live like ants?

Go to the ants you Sluggard; consider their ways, and be wise.

Ants are the most aggressive and prompt creatures I have seen. Give them an opportunity, they grab it. Leave your food on the table and expect them to wander around. I cannot talk ant, but I can relate their way of living in the human way. How many of us were given the opportunities and just let go of them? A lot. Even I let opportunities slip out of my hand in the past. Maybe it’s one reason why there are unemployed people in the world. Well not generally, but there are instances that we already have the luck in their faces but we just choose to ignore them. We are not aggressive enough to take chances. Look at the ants, even a small grain of rice is food to them. What do they do? They take it. How about us people? We see a small opportunity, let’s say job, most of the time we look past it; always looking for the bigger one without considering the small one. For ants, food, gourmet or not, is food that they can feast to. For people, it doesn’t work that way. Most of the time, we tend to ignore the small ones and try our luck for the big ones and the big ones do not always come unfortunately. Only if we treat opportunities in equal manner then we will be able to help solve unemployment little by little.

Ants save the good so they can feast during the rain. Nothing in this world is more hardworking than ants. You see them work day and night. They carry food on their backs. They do not just sit around and waste time for they know that they cannot waste time. They prepare for the storm. And unlike ants, most of us tend to lay around, sit our asses on the couch and waste time. We even procrastinate on things that are important. Most common examples are homeworks, projects, reports. Give a person a week to prepare a report and he will use the first five days for leisure and the rest for the actual preparation. Our mentality is the opposite of those of the ants. They prepare and they feast, we feast then we prepare. They work hard during the sunny days and they rest during the heavy rain whilst we rest during the sunny days and work hard during the heavy rain. How many of us have failed to deliver a speech because we lack preparation? That’s our problem, we lack preparation, we waste time, we procrastinate.

Ants are often always in line. What’s amazing is that they do not break their lines, they really follow the trail. They do not overtake. Funny but unlike us, they do not need to have personnels to tell them to form a line. They just do it. And we, no matter how many people remind us to form a line in public transports or fast food chains, we still scatter like dust and we cut in queues. We are not disciplined enough to follow a trail. We hate traffic and yet we are the one who causes it. Too many undisciplined drivers who will turn left when the sign tells them to turn right. How can we possibly prosper if we can’t even form a single line? We lack discipline. I am pretty sure that humans act mostly on their wills and ants purely on their instincts. They do not even know what is wrong and what is right but we do. Isn’t that a bit ironic?

Ants have no legislative, executive and judicial bodies. They have no senate or congress, let alone laws, yet they have the best government. Their way is simple, they serve their queen and the queen does her function. They do their obligations. They know that the government cannot stand without the people and the people without the government. I am not going to make attacks on the government system but I just admire the ways of the ants. Only if everyone in the country does his function as a citizen, only if those working in the government are whole heartedly willing to serve the nation, only if we are willing to help the nation stand together by giving our allegiance, we will be able to prosper like the ants.

Ants help one another; they even bury the dead. I have seen this a lot of times. I have seen ants help other ants. I have seen ants carry other ants in their backs. What shocked me the most is that they bury their dead. One time, I killed a bunch of ants. I went to look for the vacuum so I can clean the floor. When I came back, I’ve seen live ants gathered around the dead and they started carrying them on their backs, heading back to their colony. I am not sure if they really are going to bury them or add them to their food, but I assume, they will bury them. They do what we are supposed to do. Help one another, living and the dead.

Ants come in different colors and sizes, like humans. They live in different colonies. But they all live in peace. Despite of their differences, they do not treat each other as enemies. They just live their own lives. As a matter of fact, I have never seen a red ant attack a black ant. Red ants are aggressive as hell. They even attack humans. But they never attack other ants. That’s the difference. Humans attack other humans: verbally and physically. Sometimes for unjust reasons. How long have we been battling with racism? I bet most of us have made a racist joke at one point. Why do we attack other people based on their looks? What makes us think that we are superior based on our skin color or appearance or size? We have differences for sure but we should treat one another equally. We should all live in peace like the ants. You know what’s admirable? Ants attack humans, way bigger than them, they do it together. Maybe we should learn from them. Maybe we should fight together those things that are preying on us. We should not act predator against one other.

It’s really fascinating that we can learn so much from these creature that we often consider pests. These small creature with wise way of living. Maybe it’s true that we really gain from one another, we always gain something from other creatures. Doesn’t matter if they are big or small. What matters is that we live and share the world with them and we have to give them due respect. The universe is a big mystery. Who knows, we are just being observed too? For who knows, to other creatures we are just like ants too?

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PANCAKE

First thing you do is prepare all the ingredients you need: flour, egg, sugar, milk, butter. Second, mix all the ingredients in a bowl. Third, cook the batter in a pan. And you have your pancake. Easy, healthy and delicious. It can come into different shapes and flavors, loved by both kids and adults.

Cooking pancakes is so much easier than baking cookies. You have your three easy steps. Everybody can make their own pancake but not everybody can make a good pancake.

I am not a baker. I have switched an oven not more than five times my whole life. I baked cookies once in high school but I never tried baking a cake. The only cake I have ever cooked in my life is pancake. And I love it. It’s a humble cake that everybody can enjoy.

I am not going to write about my love for pancakes. It’s more interesting to talk about the detailed steps on how to make your own pancake.

First step is to prepare all your ingredients.

You need flour. Not just any flour but all-purpose flour. You don’t want your pancakes to taste starchy. You don’t want your pancakes to look like paste either. You have to be specific. You have to procure the best brand that you can get. But a generic will also do. Pancakes is not just about the flour, but it’s the main ingredient so you do not want to mess up with the star. Like in life, you have to be specific in what you really need. And if you can, find the best of its kind. If you can’t find the best kind, find the closest and the most fit. You just don’t pick anything and everything. You have to know what you need or else, you might end up building a weak foundation. And with weak foundation, you might not reach the results that you want.

Sugar. All cakes need sugar. Pancakes are supposed to taste sweet. You have to measure the right amount of sugar because you do not want to make your pancakes taste too sweet or too flour-y. We all need a hint of sweetness in our lives. But just the right level of it. If life is too sweet to us, then we will lose appreciation for the good things coming into our lives. They will seem just normal to us. We will not know what it’s like to be hurt or to feel pain. And when we feel a little pain, then we might not recover. Like when you get diabetes from too much sugar, once you get a cut, it will never heal. It’s there forever. On the other hand, if we take a little sugar, we will get hypoglycemia. And if you have it, you will feel weak, dizzy, you lack concentration, sometimes it can lead to unconsciousness and sometimes coma. Figuratively, if life is unsweetened, then everything is just dull. All we can see is the bitter and bland side of life. Everything is just existing. Everything will feel dead. We have to find the right balance of sweetness so we can appreciate our small victories and savor life’s sweetness when it kicks in.

Eggs. How do we know if the egg is still good? Is it still good if the shell is clean? It’s easy to scrub a shell to make it clean. Is it good when you can see the yolk through the shell? Or do you just crack it and test it by smell? But you see, we have to make sure that the egg we’re going to use is not expired, better if it’s fresh. You don’t want to mix something spoiled into the dry ingredients. You want the egg to perform its function, give a good flavor and make the batter stick together. Problem is I don’t exactly know what’s a good egg and what’s not unless I crack it. I just trust the store where I buy it. I just trust my instinct and decision making. Buying eggs is just like meeting people. For sure we will meet a lot along the way. People of different faces. We can’t always see through them. Most of the times, we just see what’s just in front of us, what they are trying to portray. And it’s hard to crack what people are really thinking. The best thing you can do is just find those you can trust, those will stick with you til the end and will help you get your life together.

Milk. I know a lot of people who use water instead of milk. They sure function the same but they do provide different taste and texture to the pancake. Milk makes the pancake more fluffy and gives additional flavor to it, unlike water. Like in life, you always have choices and you always have to go with the best choice. Choose the one that will serve you right. You choice will always depend on whatever you are aiming for. Also, you need to use just the right amount of milk. You want the right consistency to your batter. If you add too much, your batter will be too runny. If less, then you will not be able to mix the ingredients altogether and your batter will look like a dough full of lumps and eventually dry. Either, your pancake will look and taste horrible. In life, we have to measure things just right. It’s not good to give too much into something or you will have an empty hand in the end. Anything in excess is bad. Anything in excess will just spill and go to waste. Less of something is not good too, especially when it is something significant. Like the batter, if you don’t put enough liquid into it, it’ll go dry… just like relationships. It is always the best to measure things up. Well not literally… Just invest the right amount to salvage what is good.

Butter. This isn’t actually necessary but it adds a distinct flavor and aroma to the pancake. It also adds a little grease to the pancakes and make them look a little shiny. Put just a little though, you don’t want your pancakes to be fatty, they are not supposed to be fatty. Sometimes, adding a little which is not really necessary can be good too. Just like our wants. We have needs but we also have wants. Needs are the things that we cannot live without. Wants are the things that we can live without, they are just accessories to life. But these wants can be our source of happiness too. They add joys in life. They add colors. They add flavors. It’s not bad to have wants, but they should always be secondary to needs. We also start with what is important. When what is important is already accomplished, then that’s the time we reward ourselves with all our wants. On that note, we should not forget that in order to get what we want, we always need to do the right thing. At the end of the day, we just want to be happy. And getting what you need and what you want will make that possible.

When all the ingredients are ready, you have to mix them altogether in a bowl: both dry and wet ingredients. Mix the dry and wet ingredients until they form a batter, whisk until you get the right consistency, continue whisking until your batter is free of lumps. Don’t forget to taste it. Make adjustments if necessary. Until you get the taste that suits you well.

Life is like the ingredients, sometimes dry, stagnant and dull. Sometimes it is wet, running and adventurous. Maybe different, maybe opposite of one another but they will work together. We just have to make them work together until everything becomes smooth, until everything sticks together like the batter. There will always be lumps but you just don’t stop and wait for them to fix themselves. You have to continue whisking. It may be tiring but you have to keep doing it. Because in life, you cannot fully stop, if you are tired, you just take a break and continue from there on. Along the way you will realize that something might be missing and from there, you have to add what is necessary. You have to figure out what is lacking so you can compensate it and make things work for you.

Now that the batter is ready, you can now cook your pancakes. Put the fire into lowheat and use a non-stick pan. Pour just the right amount of batter into the pan. Do not leave it on the pan for minutes, you don’t want to overcook it. When you see bubbles, you can now flip your pancake and wait for a couple of seconds and take it out, put it in your plate and serve it.

You don’t leave things out alone. You have to look after them. You just don’t leave things be cause you wouldn’t know when it’s too much or too little of something. You will make mistakes at first. Of course, you cannot estimate something at first hand. It needs time and a lot of observation. Like the pancake, when you see bubbles, you flip it to the other side. In life, when you see something is already half done, you proceed to the next half. You just don’t stare at the bubbles, you do something when you see bubbles.

Now that your pancakes are ready, you can add whatever you want to add: fruits, maple syrup, lemon, ice cream et cetera. After all these preparations, you deserve a reward for your hardwork. Just like in real life, we deserve a treat for all our hard work. We deserve to enjoy the good things because ultimately, we are all bound to enjoy life.

Comfort Room

I think we can all agree that there are times when we just want to stay away from the noisy world but that finding a perfect place to contemplate about things is not easy.

Some people will go up the mountains to meditate. Some will go see the ocean to feel peace and quiet. Some will visit their church and reflect. But some people just stay in their humble house and spend a good 10 minute or so inside their humble comfort room.

First question I have in mind is why is it called Comfort Room? There are a lot of names more suited for its function, like pee room or poop room, then why comfort room? Maybe because of the comfort you feel after you release those dumps inside your body? I can’t think of anything more logical than that though. But I don’t want to be logical and literal all throughout this entry. I think it is more fun to talk about comfort rooms in another way.

There are three kinds of people in the world, those who use comfort rooms for biological purposes, those who use them for mental and emotional purposes, and those who them for the combination of all. Let’s all admit than more than any room inside the house, comfort rooms are the most versatile. Maybe you get annoyed with people who take too long in using the cr. Maybe you get really pissed off and start banging the door. Sometimes I do take long too, but not because of the call of nature that I have to answer, but because I am seizing the opportunity to have some privacy. That, some people don’t know about and don’t understand. After some scrutiny, I have concluded that a cr is not just a place to poop and pee and I have decided to write down my thoughts about why the cr is one of the best places in the world.

The comfort room is like a kingdom where you are the ruler and everything you see is your property. You can be anything you want; you can be a king, a singer or a dancer. You can be the person you want to be and nobody will judge. It is a place where you can deeply contemplate about the things that were running through your mind; the things that have been bothering you, the mysteries of the world, alien abduction, the mistakes you have done and the plans you have for the future. It is like another realm where you can evaluate all your thoughts and assess yourself.

Most of the times we bring our phones with us whenever we go to the comfort room. It is the best place to beat our game’s high scores. The atmosphere improves your concentration level. It is simply a playground for adults. It is a place where you can do all your weird stuff like choreographing your own dance or practicing an argument that will never really happen in real life. Who doesn’t enjoy singing inside the comfort room? I sing a lot. Sometimes even when I feel constipated, I still sing and I enjoy every minute of it. The echo is one of the best things. I feel like I sing better whenever. I also created debates in my mind more than a hundred times. Something that I will not be able to accomplish when I am in the real world.

Aside from literally releasing the dumps inside your body, you can also release tensions and stresses. You can cry if you want and nobody will see. It is a place where you can display all your emotions without worrying about other people. Unlike in your bedroom, you can have all the time you want and no one will intervene. Nobody will knock on your door. They will just wait for you to finish. You don’t have to worry about getting caught crying or releasing anger or doing your rituals when you feel you’re almost having a breakdown. And what’s the first place that will come into your mind when you encounter a stressful event and you need some space alone? Comfort room, isn’t it?

It is also a place where you usually say your affirmatives. Who hasn’t soliloquised anyway? Who hasn’t acknowledged that they look good in some angle and not worry about other people hearing it? It is the best place to talk to yourself, and do assessments, physically, mentally and emotionally without looking crazy. I talk to myself, well not always, but I’ve never felt more free whenever I am alone in the comfort room. It is healthy to talk to yourself once in a while because sometimes when you’re down and you feel like there’s no one to tell you that things will be alright, who else is going to cheer you up aside from yourself? Just don’t do it in public, the comfort room will serve you right in that matter.

Sometimes when I run of out topics to write, I just spend a good 15-minute alone time in the comfort room and it always does the trick. Considering that there are no interesting items inside the cr, how can it be so helpful to me and my people [those who like staying inside the cr to think]? Well that’s the irony. The lack of fancy items lets the mind wander. It is like being in your own wonderland. The emptiness, the silence that you don’t almost hear anything aside from the water droplet, will keep your imagination working. The brain will always function even if you don’t send signals for it to function. Even if you think of nothing, something will always come into your mind. Even if your cr is just painted white and you only have a roll of tissue, faucet, a sink, a toilet and soap, it is almost funny that the lack of something good creates good idea. Maybe you will agree that the cr is not the most fun place in the world, it is basically one of the most boring. But this boring place is the most effective place to use your imagination. It is really funny that when you’re bored and you can’t think about anything, that’s the time when your brain starts functioning really well and get you to places you have never been. Or you can just stare blankly at the wall or the ceiling and let your mind wander. The silence that you will never get on the outside world will allow you to think of the best ways to do the things you’ve been longing to do or simply, ways to get your life together. The peace you get will also put you in a relaxed state, thus, also called the rest room. It is either you rest your mind completely or let your brain function in its optimum potential.

There’s no denying that we all have two faces: the one that we show the world, and the one that we just show only ourselves. Sometimes, we just want to be our truest selves and have all the privacy we need. Sometimes we just want to act crazy but we can’t expose that side because it is against the norms and we always search for the best place to be ourselves. And some people find their cr to be a freeing place. I am pretty sure that everyone has done something fun, stupid and weird in the cr. I can’t blame them. I once danced the shit out of me inside the cr and tripped but I was still happy. That’s something I cannot pull off with people around. We are the happiest when we are free. We are the happiest when we are our true selves. Maybe other people will not be able to get past the fact that a place as weird and as dirty (well admit it, cr is one of the dirtiest place in the world) as the cr can be a Disneyland for many. And I am guilty of it.

The world sometimes can be noisy as hell and the comfort room is best place to be alone, away from the world. A place for a temporary escape from reality. Supposedly the bedroom has to be the best place to experience solitude but apparently it isn’t. Sometimes you just want to feel like there’s nobody else and nothing else outside and the emptiness of the cr will provide you that ambiance; cozy, quiet, chill. It is the best place to be nothing and everything at the same time. You just sit on your throne, stare at one side and kill time. Because there’s basically nothing in there, just you and your throne.

The truth is I’ve written most part of this entry in my work office’s comfort room. And most of the times, I think about the most important things and make the most important decisions in the cr too. The serenity that I get behind the door and the white wall is extraordinary. I know for other people, it is just a place to pee, but for some people, it is a place for contemplation. It may sound odd but it is true.

Thirty-Day Writing Challenge

What makes a great writer? Is it his ability to write a thousand word composition in a span of thirty minutes or less? Is it his ability to use words that almost sound foreign to his readers? Is it his ability to gather a large audience with just one masterpiece? Is it a combination of so many things that being a great writer has no fixed criteria at all?

Writing a composition based from experiences is easy. Writing something that is rooted from your mind is easy. It’s easy to think of words,. What isn’t easy is to put together words and make something worthy to read, something that makes sense.

Going back to the question above, I think I may already have my own description of a great writer.

Like an artist, a great writer uses his imagination combined with facts to make a masterpiece of his own. He is someone who can make a single word turn into an extraordinary composition that will make his readers think out of the box and will make them imagine the movement of the universe. Everyone is a good writer but it takes something special to become a great writer.

I was thinking of writing a short story this afternoon when my best friend suggested that I try something new. Since I have this passion for writing, I instantly agreed.

Here’s the deal, he wanted me to write something worth reading but unlike what I was used to doing, he gave me a list of random words, very random words, and challenged me to write a minimum of 1500-word composition. One word, one composition per day. Starting with the first word on the first day and ending with the 30th word on the 30th day of the challenge.

It is like revisiting those days in high school when we were asked to submit 500-word essays and sometimes join writing competitions. The difference is that there is no trophy, no medal or grades involved here. So why take the challenge? What do I get out of this? Simple: SELF GROWTH and PERSONAL SATISFACTION. This time I am writing for myself. I’m taking the challenge of writing to the next level and I hope that at the end of this, I will be able to say that I’ve raised my own bar.

Feel free to take the challenge too and let’s all evaluate ourselves on the 30th day.

Kudos to M for the Brilliant Challenge :))

Kudos to M for the Brilliant Challenge. Thank you for this list. :)) -L

You were not born to be crucified

Even heroes get tired. Even heroes need saving. You have done more than enough for the people you love. You did a very good job. You deserve to rest. Be a normal human. Stop frowning, stop worrying about the world, i’ll just ask the angels to look after you and God to wipe your tears away and send you my kisses. Have a good night and have a great life ahead. Live a peaceful, happy life. Until you return. I love you.

I can write about everything else but I always end up writing about you

I can write about politics. I can write about religion. I can write about food, alcohol, television, ghosts, murder, pets and never run out of idea. I can write about everything else but I always end up writing about you.

Have you ever felt so strange that you really do not know what’s going on inside your head? That even when seeing a number, a certain person pops into your head. I had and I still have. It is something I cannot really explain by words but I will try.

This mess all started when I met this beautiful creature. Like in the movie, you meet someone, you get to know him and your life changes forever. But unlike the movies, you do not get the chance to undo or revisit some events, well maybe yeah, in your mind. Good thing, there is this thing called memories. And these memories will make you smile and cry like nuts. And I am full of memories of him.

It is insane that a certain person can make your life turn a hundred and eighty degrees. Even if you keep your guards up, even if you tell yourself “stop”, or even if you fight the voices inside you, you just can’t compete with the feelings that are swallowing you whole. And the next thing you know, you’re there and you’ve completely lost the battle against that not-so-spontaneous combustion, the thing that can build and destroy you, aka, LOVE. It’s a shame, I raised my white flag when it declared a war on me.

So yeah. I surrendered in my battle against love. There’s no way I am winning. But definitely, there’s no way I am losing.

How could I possibly lose when the person I’ve been fighting for is someone so special that once made me believe in marriage and unconditional love? But i will stop here because this isn’t about me actually. It’s about him… It’s about you. This is all about you.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning once counted the ways on how she loved a certain person. But I am not going to ask “How do I love thee” and answer the same for I, too, loved you in so many ways that you would never imagine. Instead of counting the ways how, let’s count the things I love about you, not the reason why I love you. Because you know I love you because it’s how I feel. Hackneyed old phrase but you know it’s true.

So mysterious, wall so high, what’s behind? You were never easy. Your guards were way up there. And I loved it. The moment I met you, I knew there was something special about you. You never talked so much instead you listened. You listened and shared my world. You listened and learned my ways. You listened and kept my secrets. That’s why you earned my trust which is the fundamental of a relationship. One of the pillars of all the relationships. Everybody needs someone they can trust. I need someone I can trust and heck yeah, found it in you. You are trustworthy. Sharing a life is difficult because you are basically at risk of exposing yourself, but I never felt scared because I know, even if i expose myself to you, you will protect me.

You protect everybody, everything that you love. You are never afraid to get hurt for the sake of the people you love. You’d rather absorb all the pain than see them crying. You’d rather carry the burden and suffer alone. You are the hero that will protect everybody as long as you can even if they don’t see it, even if they don’t acknowledge it. You just do your thing in silence. You have been protecting everybody for too long. I wish I could protect you from this world’s madness too.

You have great gifts but I never heard you brag about anything. It’s funny that you do not actually realize how gifted you are. I have showered you with many compliments but you always deny that they are true. Do I always have to shove my compliments down your throat? Why is it so hard for you to take them? If you just know how good you are, well maybe you do know and you just don’t want to sound cocky or something. I know you will always be humble, but take compliments. You are good in your field, You sing beautifully, you write beautifully, you are beautiful.

You are intelligent in so many ways but moreover, you are full of wisdom. Academically, you rock. Field, you rock. Life, you still got it. You are the most interesting person I have met. You can talk about anything and everything. Pedestrians, sky, aliens, God, business, floor plan, friends, love, family, one word and it can turn into a thousand word essay. What’s cool about you is that you respect the opinion of other people. You may agree or disagree but you never tried to change their minds. You stand by your principles and you let them stand in theirs. Talk about life, you know a lot. I know you have experienced a lot of good and bad and you learned from them. What is good about you is that you just don’t learn, you also act upon it. Spoken wisdom is nothing if you don’t live with it. And you do.

You have the power to make someone believe in the beauty of life and love. I will never deny the fact that before I met you, I do not really believe in marriage. But when you came into my life, I felt so secured, so comfortable, so loved that I actually wanted to wake up, seeing your face first thing in the morning and last at night. You have the power to make someone feel that life is still beautiful despite of all the craps. You had rough times but you managed to overcome all the obstacles that were in your way. You had lonely nights but you still managed to wake up the next morning and live another day. You have been through a lot but you still see a beautiful life and it’s contagious. You are inspiring. Life is beautiful whenever I am with you. You bring joy. You are serious but also funny. You are the prince but with a wacom, a pen and a laptop. You might not have a sword or a horse, but you have the qualities that will make someone fall in love over again. You bring the one you love into a realm and only you can do it.

You are loving. Blessed are the people you love for they will be loved unconditionally. You just give yourself to them. You just give whatever you have without asking for anything in return. I don’t know how you do it but you deserve to be loved unconditionally too. A person like you deserves all the good things, all the happiness for not everybody can offer a love so genuine like yours.

Words just flowed. I feel like if I don’t stop now, I’ll end up spending the whole night writing this blog. I can write a million words or more about you. I really can.

I always tell you that you will never understand unless you step on my shoe. I have been trying to understand myself too. I will not be able to explain what’s happening in my head and in my heart accurately but there is one thing that I do know, loving you was worth it. You are worth it.

Let’s just say that whenever I try to compress everything into a hundred word entry, the more it gets hard for me cause whenever I think about you, I end up thinking about the whole universe. That’s what you mean to me. If you can understand the mystery of the universe, then you will be able to understand why I love you and I still do.

Some people’s walls are way too high. I admit, I am one of them. But when I met him, I realized that his is higher and makes it hard for people to see what’s behind that wall. All they see is the facade of him.

I never tried to break it, I just tried to climb as high as I could get. I wanted to help him get to the other side of the wall too. I know it’s hard for him to let anyone in so I never tried to trespass in any way. Also, I know that it’s difficult for him to lower his guard too. He needed his security and protection and I would not take them away from him. Fortunately, I was able to see through the holes of the wall and when I was almost at the peak, I had a glimpse of the truth…

What he was trying to protect was nothing hideous.Do you know how it feels like to be inside the eye of a tornado? That’s how it feels like seeing that other side of him. It’s fantastic. I tell you, he was precious. I could never get my eyes off of him. The process was not easy, but it was fun and it was all worth it. He was so beautiful. Now tell me, how could I possibly let go of something so beautiful?

I’m pretty frustrated that I cannot do shots during these rainy days. It will be so much fun to feel some kick while contemplating on things that have something to do with emotions. Cold weather and beer would be amazing, cold weather and shots would be perfect, cold weather and someone dear is beyond perfect and amazing. How I wish I could wash away the thoughts I have in my head sober cause even my dreams wouldn’t do that. How I wish I could get over the fact that he’d date the rest of the world except me; that he’d rather date the rest of the world… not me. That he has the eye for the rest of the world and sadly, he couldn’t spare me a glance. That he is willing to meet the rest of the world and I will just be a shadow.

I do not have the right to feel any jealousy because it’s known to me that I am not the apple of your eye anymore. As much as I want it to be me, there is not a chance. We are not lovers for that label expired already. What will I do when I have those feelings of jealousy and envy? Can I just possibly pretend that I am not affected by the mere fact that I am not the one who makes your heart beat faster than the usual, or I am not the one who lays with you, or I am not the voice you want to hear the first thing in the morning and the last at night? Can I possibly pretend that I stopped wishing and hoping that I am still the one you are fond of, that I am still the one who makes you laugh the most genuine and I am still the one that you want to love?