The moment when you finally realize that your family is as dysfunctional as other families. And one of your parents is a cheater and a big liar. That was an awesome acting. Who would have thought?
I was doing the dishes and i was holding a knife. I wanted to slit my throat… I really wanted to… Why? Just why?
Now I have all the reason to fucking hate everything and everyone.
I wish I could write another song or another poem for someone special. I wish I could write something worth reading, something that will give joy to the one who reads it. I wish I could write how beautiful the world is, how blue the sky is and how pretty the clouds are. But like a dog, all I can see is shades of grey in everything.
I wish I could enjoy watching the stars at night and search for the constellations but i must be turning blind because I couldn’t see the sparks. The stranger must be right, my eyes are missing their sparks.
I wish I could enjoy watching anything else than murder series. Wish one day I’d find the feelings I am missing. Because right now, I could not feel anything: disgust, anger, sadness, happiness. I wish one day I would choose to watch a romantic comedy film over a gruesome film.
But I know I would never be the same again, nor write the same way again. I can not be the same person because she’s already gone.
The one posting this is just someone who likes to drink and get high.
Everything is falling apart. My family is falling apart. Now I know the feeling of not wanting to know the truth.The awkward silence is driving me crazy. Has to be it. I don’t want to figure things out because the last time I’ve asked about the truth, it hurt me to hell. Why? Just why. I am curious. I must have been a really bad person in my past life. Maybe I deserve this shit. Thinking about it, I haven’t been a good person in my present life either. So yeah, i’ll just lock myself in my room alone and do what I do.