The Day I Stopped Loving Myself

And I have changed for the better, not for the worse.

The day I stopped loving myself was also the day I realized that there is more to loving than one can imagine.

I stopped loving myself but I started loving another

Call me a fool, but that was the same day I truly loved somebody.

Have you asked yourself if you’re giving enough love?

Have you ever spent a night thinking if somebody you care for is asleep and having sweet dreams?

Have you ever spent the night watching somebody sleep, looking after him, to make sure he is fine?

No matter how late is it, not matter how sleepy you are, you just lay there, protecting him from the darkness of the night.

If you have ever put somebody else’s needs and convenience over yours, then I must say, you have truly loved someone.

I stopped loving myself and started loving him,

And it’s the realest thing I have felt my entire life.

To give so much thought about someone who isn’t your blood and flesh,

To care for someone more than you love yourself.

I stopped loving myself and started loving him,

It’s the one thing I have done right in my life

To make him feel less lonely, to make him feel he is loved

To make him feel he is wanted, to make him feel he is needed.

I, myself, am living in the world of loneliness

And I, myself, am longing for love.

The day I stopped loving myself and started loving him

Is the day I stopped longing for love and started giving.

And I loved him truly, I can say, for I’d pray for his happiness

Not giving so much thought about mine for it is not needed

The day I stopped loving myself and I started loving him taught me one reality

That you will find joy and contentment when you give more than when you receive.

The day I stopped loving myself and started loving him helped me find what is missing

To love another person and share my heart with without too much asking

To be there for him, listen to him, cry and smile with him,

There I found myself whole and happy and most real.

 

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The Pain That Goes All The Way To The Bones

To forget you or remember you,

Either way is bittersweet.

To be with you is heaven

To be without you is hell.

You left and came back in the most unexpected time

My heart raced in gladness but my mind remembered a little sadness

Will you stay for good or flee when you should?

Should you leave soon, will you say farewell to me or disappear for good?

I felt your warmth, the kind that goes deep within the soul

Your lips pressed into mine, I taste the sweetness of love

I wrapped my arms around you never wanting to let go

Tell me how could I do it when you’re everything I wanted, there’s nothing more.

I am staring into darkness, clueless of what to feel.

I waited until morning… until evening… awake and my heart pounding.

Is this it? Is it the end of the line?

Are those days over?

The days when you’re temporarily mine.

I have no right to demand and I can only wait

As much as I want to, I can never be with you

Your heart belongs to someone else and my heart belongs to only you

Must be a bad case of loving, I am sorry, there’s not much I can do.

Will you be mad if i get envious or jealous?

I have known for a fact that I can never be attached.

But why do I keep falling, my heart must have never learned.

To unlove you, this must be the hardest thing to do.

The fear is too much to bear

My whole being is completely in despair

When the day comes when you have to finally leave,

I will cry a river, I’ll drown in tears, will be way too deep.

You say I should not cry when you’re gone

But how could I not when you take the biggest space in my heart?

You say I should not wait for you because you do not know how long will you be staying

But that uncertainty lights a little hope, that a part of you still wants to be with me.

You love her, and I love you.

How I wish it’s me who you are in love with.

She doesn’t know that I exist, she is not aware of my presence.

But I do know that she does, and it’s hurting me.

To picture you and her is as painful as injecting poison into my heart.

I am here, still waiting for you day and night

Not knowing if you’re gonna come back, but just in case, I will leave the door on the latch.

Emotions rising, feelings wasted, with nobody who will be there to save me.

To be in love with someone whose heart belongs to someone else is unbearable

It’s the kind of pain that goes all the way to the bones

It’s easy to say to just let him go.

It’s easy to say to find a man who’s willing to give me his heart and soul, a man of my own.

It’s a feeling one would never understand

It’s something the mind could not comprehend

There are no words that could make me feel better and take the pain away

Except for the words, “I love you” from the man who owns my heart, the man who always will.

A few stolen moments but memories that will last forever

How I wish I am the one you are spending your time with

How I wish it’s you and me who are making the moments of our lives

But this is just wishful thinking because you are not… and will never be mine.

I know how it feels to be the second best

The one you remember when she’s not around

The one you will spend your night with when you feel lonely and messy

but not the one you will wake up with and say good morning.

These are the words I couldn’t say to you

Because the moments are perfect, and I don’t want to make things more complex

I just want to make you happy when you’re around

I just want to feel that the world is ours even if it will never last, even if it’s just inside my head.

But I do love you and that’s all that matters to me

Even if you wouldn’t stay long, that’s okay, I wouldn’t mind

My door is open, my heart is willing

My soul is accepting, come closer to me

Everything’s gonna be alright, I promise.

Spend the night with me, I am not asking for eternity.

For I would take a minute with you than a lifetime with somebody else

Do not worry, It’s gonna be fine…

It’s enough that you love me today…

And I will still love you even if you’re not here tomorrow.

Living Your Sweetest Dreams

While you are in deep slumber, I am in deep thought.

What are you dreaming about?

I am awake but I am day dreaming about being with you

Are you dreaming about me too?

Are you dreaming about us walking hand in hand?

Because I am dreaming about you holding my hand on the streets 

And I, glancing, eyes glued on your face.

And I would ask you to walk beside me

By then, I’d feel so much security.

We will both look up at the sky and adore how blue it is

And you will look me in the eye and tell me how beautiful am I in your eyes.

And I’ll return the compliment by saying

There’s never a day so blue whenever I am with you.

We will savor each moment

Even silence with you is gold.

No need to say another word, no need to do another deed

Just a day with you by my side is more than enough.

You never told me that you’re in love with me

And I have never asked myself if I am in love with you

All I have to know is how much you love being around me

And I will never fail to tell you how much I love being with you.

Feelings are fleeting, thoughts appearing

Why should I overthink about the future when the present is screaming?

Live by the moment for there’s no guarantee that tomorrow will come.

But there’s a guarantee that the present can be lived.

Dreams do not always last, so are feelings.

I cannot guarantee I’d still feel the same about you tomorrow

But I am certain that what I am feeling about you today is not just a part of your sweet dreams.