It only took 3 messages from you to completely break me apart. That goodbye, I don’t want to get that from you.

When I received your text, I was so happy because I missed you so much. When I read it, I saw the unavoidable, nagpapaalam ka na naman.

Why? Why do you always cross my name on your plans? Baggage na lang ba ako sa iyo? I thought I was supporting you all along… I gave you the most I can, given the situation, given the distance. I gave you all the love I have, all the time I have. I gave you a part of me (and yes, I know hindi mo yun hiniling). Hindi ba enough yun para magstay ka?

When I read your text, I felt like I lost my soul. I immediately went to my room because I was dying inside. I cried in silence. Ayaw tumigil ng luha ko. Ang hirap magpigil ng iyak kasi yung sakit na nararamdaman ko, laging bago.

You said goodbye multiple times before but I never got used to it. Kahit kanina, yung ata ang pinakasakit sa lahat. I thought we were good. I thought you’ll never leave. I thought kahit papano may balak ka na ikeep ako. Pero I thought wrong, at the end of the day, you still want to continue without me. Are you better off without me kaya ganito? Have you always known that iiwan mo din ako? Why? Am I not worthy of you?

It’s killing me now.

 

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