Everyone’s getting excited about the weekend except me. Weekend means home. And I don’t feel like I am at home in my parent’s house. I was supposed to write a feel good entry but the broken sink just ruined my day.
It’s not a common practice in the Philippines that the children will move out of their parents’ house when they reach maturity. More often, they we stay at our parents house until we get married or until our parents have someone to take care of them when they grow old. We want to accompany our parents, it us showing gratitude to them for raising us up.
Sometimes, we still live at our parents’ even if we are married and have kids of our own. But to be honest, I don’t think I will be able to stay longer at this house.
Here are the reasons why:
I lost my room when I was in college.
My grandparents have moved into our house since my grandfather had a heart attack. I didn’t mind at first since they were MY GRANDPARENTS. It was just a room. So I and my younger sister shared the same room. But since I am not alone in the room, there are lots of restrictions. For example, I cannot just simply sleep nude. (not literally nude, was just exaggerating) It’s hard when you share a room, it’s like you’re in chains. Your actions are all limited.
I lost my privacy.
I don’t have a room of my own. You can conclude that I lost my privacy. Even if I want to lock myself up all day, I can’t. If my sister knocks, I am obliged to open up the door. She can easily go through all my stuff and I remember one time that she saw a notebook where I used to write all my thoughts and scanned over it. I couldn’t believe what had happened. Since she was super close with my father, she spilled everything that was written there. So I ruined the notebook. Bye bye Secrets-No-More.
I lost my privacy, Big-Time.
My mom hired care takers of my grandfather because she couldn’t handle him anymore. I’ll tell you why on the next paragraph. One after the other. They kept changing. People went in and out of the house. I felt like our house is already a church, you know, free for all. We are obliged to get dressed even inside the bathroom. I hate it when my pants get wet. You know the feeling when you can’t go out in the bathroom in towels or I cannot sit however I like people there are strangers inside our house. You know the feeling when they will just open the fridge and get whatever they want without asking for our permission? So so disrespectful that sometimes I would ask my mother to not buy groceries anymore or put them inside the room.
I want the peaceful and quiet house… But it’s gone
It’s f*ckin annoying to hear curses early in the morning. I always get awaken by my grandfather. Yeah I curse sometimes but not as intense as he does. He says an average of 3 curses per sentence and it’s getting into my nerves. I’d rather hear those 5 am prayers at least they give me the Holy Spirit and the 8 am rosary that makes me laugh everytime I hear the vibratos of the oldies.. I cannot eat my meal with a quiet surrounding. It’s always the F word. If I can eat the F word, i’d surely have a full full stomach even if it’s just 6 in the morning.
People who think I am filthy rich.
I am sick of hearing money matters. As if I am an ATM. I get irritated everytime I hear them asking me to buy this and that. If I could just stay invisible, I would just, to get rid of them especially my f*ckin uncle. Even if I refuse, he will send me text messages telling me how bad their situation is et cetera. I hate it that I put him on my block list and I don’t feel sorry. Just because I am working in the city doesn’t mean I am filthy rich.
The Hot Seat
I don’t like endless conversations be it about my job or about my personal life. I feel like a celebrity on hot seat. The questions are so redundant that gets me tired every time. I will tell stories if I feel like sharing. I just don’t like them when they are being too pushy.
There’s so much household chores to do. I work 5 days a week and sometimes even on weekends but I am still asked to do chores. My mother’s a clean freak, so is my Father. She would get me to clean the displays every time. My father would do the laundry because he likes doing it but at the end of the day, it’s still me who will rinse and dry them out. F*ckin annoying. It’s his idea in his first place. Not me, being lazy. I just hate laundry. You know, he could just go into the laundry shop or ask the laundry lady. Lots of chores to do on weekends. I hate waking up to my mother’s voice telling me to clean the house even if i haven’t eaten breakfast yet. And sometimes, I will still be the one to prepare our breakfast. It was supposed to be my REST day.
Poof. I hate seeing those faces in the morning. It ruins my day. It’s as if they are carrying the world in their shoulders. It’s as if it’s always the end of the world. Is it that hard to fake a smile? Morning frown and the curses, what a combination. How would you expect me to enjoy my breakfast with those two? The same reason why I prefer getting up late even if I am already awake. Trying to get rid of the morning evils. *sigh
I am being bombarded with WH questions. Who’s this, what’s that, when’s that, how’s that? My God. That’s why there’s google. Maximize our resources. I am not a walking encyclopedia, I don’t know everything.
I can’t even watch a movie without hearing criticisms. I won’t mind if they are CONSTRUCTIVE but they aren’t. What’s wrong with watching Neighbor Totoro? They always call me childish whenever I watch Spongebob and Powerpuff Girls and the like. Damn, it’s not me who needs to grow up. It’s the people who criticize. Just mind your business people of god.
I stayed at my apartment for two weeks because of the weather. My father didn’t even give me a look this morning. I don’t want to assume but I think that’s because I wasn’t here last week. I sent him a text message telling him how bad the condition was and he didn’t respond. I even told my mother that the area is flooded and she kept on saying I still can travel. I don’t want to travel because it will be so inconvenient on my part. And I asked her what’s so important that I need to get through all those inconveniences and you know the reason why, it’s my goddaughter’s 7th birthday (if there’s such a word). What’s the fuss? Even if I don’t visit for a month, that doesn’t mean i am distancing myself to them or not showing gratitude. It’s just that I have my own life and I need to start living independently as early as now. I have a job and I have a place to stay in. And I am paying my rent. I don’t want to be the typical Filipina child who lives with her parents forever. Just because I wasn’t able to travel I am being ignored like this? But it’s not so new to me, I was sent out of the house thrice as early as my high school days, for the record. I know I don’t know any about parenting but it is clear to me that something is wrong with my parents’ style. They are not seeing how things in the eye of their children, i guess that’s it.
I CAN’T DO UNITY WITHOUT INTERVENTIONS. Please hand me that, please go to the market, please unplug that. Lot’s of interventions! And you know what’s worse, I am doing this entry for almost 2 hours now and it’s not yet finished because of the commercials! SO F*CKIN F*CKIN F*CK.
Going back to the sink. The sink is broken. I didn’t expect that to be THAT BROKEN. I just washed my face and the water overflowed. And people kept blaming me. It’s not me who broke it in the first place, and who did the design… IT WASN’T ME.
I’m not excited for the weekend. Thank you for the free wifi. It’s my only consolation. Technically, it’s not so free i remember I am the one who pays the bill as well.
So don’t blame me for the broken sink and for not going home on weekends.