If there’s one thing I can hear clearly right now is my heart slowly shattering into pieces; not the music in playing from my speakers and not the fan blowing.
This is the last time I am going to write about you since I don’t even have the courage to write to you anymore.
You wrote and I saw this as a caption when you changed your photo… you and your girlfriend.
“Feels like spring”
She makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside… And I’ve never seen you smile that prettily. You’re really that happy… right?
I want to be happy for you but I will selfishly admit that I cannot be happy for you right now because I am hurting. It hurts so bad that I had to get up from bed to write this.
You didn’t give me the respect I deserved and just ignored me totally. Yesterday we were talking and the next day you were gone… You told me you loved me and the next day, you don’t anymore? No goodbyes, no texts, no calls. Still, I let that slide. I didn’t get mad at you but I was sad for myself.
I let you be.
And for the months you were gone, you didn’t even say hi to me, not even once, not even on my birthday, not even on Christmas. Why? How could you be so cruel and unfair?
And now you’re in a relationship and you show her off like a trophy?
I want to hate you but I love you too much to even hate you. And for this, I hate myself even more. I hate me for being foolish.
I have always thought of you as a wonderful person but maybe I just favored you. Maybe the picture I have of you in my head is so much different than the real you… or maybe, you just didn’t like me enough to actually be nice to me? Cause right now, I can see you glowing.
………..You just didn’t like me enough to spend time with me
You should’ve been more upfront and I should’ve seen the signs… I saw but I just ignored…
I’d rather hear you say “this won’t work” than “i love you, i’ll call you tomorrow” and never call.
Still, I will forgive you for hurting me.
In Pari Delicto 